Hello Dearest Penguin People…
Here is the latest chapter of Max and Sebastian. When we left off, Autumn Teaberry was in the hospital waiting room coming to grips with the fact that she could see ghosts. It ends with her watching Larry, a homeless germaphobe, being brought into the ER by ambulance.
If you are new to Max and Sebastian I highly recommend that you start from the beginning or be at risk of being completely confused. You have been warned :)
Start here…
And as always, a special thank you to P.Q. Rubin for the penguin up top who had one too many.
Larry followed Eve into the emergency room, still clutching a thin paper sheet around his shoulders. The hallway was packed with patients, all waiting on stretchers for available beds.
His face lit up as he bounded up to the charge nurse behind the counter. “Hey Meg, did you miss me?”
The nurse stood up, slamming a chart onto her desktop. “So help me God if you’re here for that damn imaginary dog again.”
“Ah, you don’t mean that.” Larry grabbed a wipe from a cleaning cart and began wiping the countertop, humming softly under his breath.
The nurse’s face turned red. “Stop that.” She tugged the wipe from Larry’s hand.
He looked longingly at the damp cloth as he spoke. “It’s not my fault that Buttercup can’t keep her paws off me. Though who could blame her for not being able to resist all of this?” He raised both hands and the sheet fell to the floor.
The nurse covered her eyes. “My God. Why are you naked?”
“Life happens.” He looked down. “And besides, I’m wearing a diaper.”
Eve wrapped the sheet around him again. “I’m sorry, Meg. We got the call. He was yelling at demon dog in a parking lot. Was I supposed to leave him there?”
“Hmm.” Meg rubbed her chin.
Larry took a step back. “That is just plain hurtful,” he said.
“Is it? How many psych evals am I supposed to set up for you before you get better?”
He leaned forward to whisper in her ear. “You could skip the eval and go straight for the priest.”
“You have something to confess?”
“No, though I’m sure I could dig something up. I just thought a quick exorcism would solve all our problems. You know, a few prayers, holy water, some pea soup, and then we’re done.”
Meg cupped her face in her hands.
A young clean-cut man, wearing black scrubs approached. “What’s going on?”
The nurse answered through clenched teeth. “This is Larry Payne. An invisible dog follows him around and gives him hell.”
“Very well put,” Larry said.
The man in scrubs extended his hand. “I’m Dr. Easton.”
Larry put his hands behind his back.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t shake hands.”
“Are you afraid of germs Larry?”
“Not mine, just yours.”
Doctor Easton laughed. He turned back to Meg. “Let’s get him a gown. Then send him to CT.”
“Why?”
“His left pupil is blown.”
“But that’s normal for him.”
“Right.” He turned back to Larry. “Have you been hit in the head, lately?”
“You want today’s count or for the week?”
“Take him to CT, ladies.” Doctor Easton walked away, ignoring Meg’s indignant face.
She spun toward Larry and pointed him down the hall with the wrong finger. “You heard the man.”
*****
Max lay on a gurney. She tugged at the flimsy oxygen tube in her nose. It itched but Sebastian wouldn’t let her take it off. She was in a holding pattern by the wall next to CT with three patients ahead of her. The machine had mysteriously broken and technicians were trying to figure it out. Her few belongings lay at the foot of the bed. Obviously, they didn’t expect her to go back upstairs. She put her clothes under her pillow but it didn’t help much. It had the consistency of a week-old pancake.
Her nurse walked toward her with a clipboard. “Still seeing ghosts?” she asked.
“No, ma’am.” A few had returned after the incident in the elevator but Sebastian had banished them back to the third floor.
“Good,” the nurse said. “I’m going to find someone to watch you until you get a room.”
Leonard sidled up to the bed. “I’ll watch her.”
The nurse gave him an exasperated look. “No Leonard, I need someone with the right training. You don’t even know how to read the heart monitor.”
“I know how.”
“Then what does it say?”
He peered near-sightedly at the rhythms as they bounced across the screen. “It says she’s alive.”
The nurse sighed. “Just go upstairs. I’m sure they’re wondering where you are.”
Leonard made a pretense of fluffing her fluff-less pillow. “You take care now, Little Missy.”
Max tried not to flinch but sensed that he felt it. “Thanks,” she whispered.
Then, mercifully, he was gone.
Sebastian followed him. “I’ll be right back.”
Max only nodded. She was out of words.
A moment later, a female EMT in her late twenties turned the corner, followed by a tall middle-aged black man wrapped in a paper sheet.
The nurse’s kind face turned sour. She directed them to the wall next to Max and frowned at the EMT. “Eve, how could you?”
Eve made a fake sorry face, while her patient stood serenely beside her, radiating innocence.
“Why is he here?”
“Doc said Larry needs a brain CT.”
The nurse shot daggers at Larry. Her animosity was not lost on him.
He dipped his head slightly, murmuring a faint “Namaste.”
The nurse’s mouth snapped shut. “Fine, I’ll see if I can find a gurney.” She stomped back to the ER, muttering darkly as she went.
Larry giggled softly to himself.
Meanwhile, Eve was staring at him in disgust. “You know, you should treat the ER staff with more respect.”
“I know, but they make it so easy.” He noticed Max staring at him and smiled at her tiny raised face. “Hey, short stuff.”
“Hi,” she said, trying not to notice that he was nearly naked.
Then her eyes grew big. A dog, though it barely qualified as one, followed closely on his heels. It was a greasy mop, black and slimy with squishy feet and red points of light where the eyes should be. Max sat up and squeezed her knees to her chest. “Is that your dog?” she asked.
A shadow crept across Larry’s face. He gave Eve a gentle nudge with his elbow.
Eve clicked her pen shut. “What did you mean by that?”
Max watched the ghastly dog at the man’s feet. It edged closer to Max, leaving an inky black trail behind it. Max pressed back even further into the hard pillow.
The dog grinned, baring a row of glistening green teeth. “Nice to see you again,” it said, its voice dripping in syrup.
Max’s mouth dropped a little. She remembered the eyes in the window. “Go away,” she said.
“Sorry, I can’t leave, yet.” Eve seemed a little hurt.
“Not you,” Max said. “I’m talking to that…thing.”
Eve sat gingerly on Max’s bed; her brow furrowed. “Do you really see a dog?”
Max, her face like a baby bird, all eyes and shivers, leaned in as well. “Yes,” she whispered back. “Don’t you?”
Sebastian appeared in a swirl of icy mist. “Damn it, Buttercup, I told you to stay away.”
The dog’s hackles rose in a flurry of slithers and hisses. She stared out at Sebastian from behind Larry’s legs. “You’re not wanted here, soul sucker.”
Larry did a double-take, almost dropping his sheet again. Then he leaned in to get a better look at Sebastian.
Surprised, Sebastian paused and peered back. “You can see me?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“Well, stop staring, it’s rude.”
“Wow.” Larry turned back to the small dog. “Hey Nutterbutt, it looks like you’re not the only one that got hit by the ugly stick.”
The demonic pup ignored him. Her tiny eyes were glued to Max’s face. She jumped onto the bed.
Max scooted back against the wall. She heard a low feral growl rumbling in the dog’s chest. Oily tendrils of matted fur morphed into writhing snakes. They convulsed around the dog’s head in a cloud of hisses and venom.
“What are you?” Max asked, trying to keep her voice even.
The dog edged forward onto Eve’s lap and perched on her knees like a baby vulture, ghost flames leaking from her eyes. “I think the better question is… what are you?”
“I’m nothing,” Max said.
“Oh, don’t say that,” Eve said, unaware that serpents were crawling across her face, painting trails of dark slime across her mouth and cheeks.
“Um, you’ve got something on your face,” Max said.
“I do?” Eve rubbed her chin with the back of her hand, smearing it worse. “Did I get it?”
Max puffed out her cheeks and slowly let the air out. “Uh, sure.”
Meanwhile, the evil mutt sniffed the air. “Do I detect a hint of…” she paused and pinned her stare on Max, “glimmer?”
“Oh, come on, leave the kid alone.” Larry wasn’t smiling anymore. “And get off of Eve’s lap.”
“Yessthh,” Sebastian hissed. “Get off of Eve’s lap.”
Eve frowned. “Larry, I’m just trying to be nice and she’s obviously not on my lap.”
“I was talking to Buttercup.”
She threw her hands in the air and stood up. “Of course, you were.”
Sebastian rose up in a cloud of black smoke. He yanked the slimy apparition by the scruff of its neck and drop-kicked it into a red hazardous waste bin. They heard a surprised “Arf,” and then muffled yapping as Larry slammed the lid tight.
As a side note…none of this was written with AI and I kindly ask that no one use it for training purposes. Thank you :)
“Are you afraid of germs Larry?”
“Not mine, just yours.”
Too funny. Humor in horror
Why pea soup? Week-old pancake... :)